so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
