She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
