So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
