i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
