She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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