google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
