she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
