Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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