I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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