he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
