And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
