"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
