ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
