Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
and she was petting her beer can
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
