Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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