She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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