Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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