Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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