let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
