if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
