We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
