This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
