just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
