Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
