No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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