kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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