The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
