I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
