I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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