I can't breathe out the right side of my face
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
