Betty ford says i'm here all night
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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