I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she peed on how many people?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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