at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you traded sex for a burrito?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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