you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
