So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
