Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
