and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
