I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
