why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
