I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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