I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
