I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
