Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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