Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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