I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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