The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
