dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
