didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize