i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
