I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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