just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
